Confessions of a Serious Player

He Said

I wine and dine you to get what I want. I do all the right things, whisper sweet nothings in your ears, cater to your every need and desire, and pretend to be a compassionate, good listener. I do all this under the false pretense to fulfill my selfish needs. My great, witty conversation draws you in. I hang on your every word, pretend to be so into you and empathize with you over your past bad relationship and assure you that I’m different. I bash your ex for leaving you penniless with the kids, then do the same thing to you later. You didn’t even see it coming, I’m so smooth with my game. I shower you with material things because I’m shallow in the inside. All I care about is impressing everybody, but ultimately the one I love the most is myself because I’m an egomaniac. Notice how I always manage to bring the conversation back around to myself? You can’t believe I’m such a perfect catch—and I’m not.